Cave Paintings:
..
Hey kids, this is your pal the Game Night dinosaur puppet.
Since this is the kind of theme I can really sink my teeth
into, Brian said I could write this sidebar column and represent
for my peeps.
First off, while I'm
glad my saurian siblings are getting respect and representation
in games, I gotta tell ya something that irks me. ALL THESE
GAMES ARE ABOUT DINOSAURS FREAKIN' DYING!!! Dinosaurs fall
in the ocean, dinosaurs fall in the volcano, dinosaurs get
hit by comet. You'd think all we do is die! Where are the
games with dinosaurs building railroads, or dinosaurs ruthlessly
engaging in insider trading? There are games about bunnies
with machine guns and cowboy beans, for the love of Pete!
When can I see the proofs for "the Dinosaurs of Catan?"
Also, I want to protest
the way you humans use the word dinosaur. You know what I
mean, when someone is maybe past their prime and kinda old-fashioned:
"coach so-and-so is a dinosaur," "Senator such-and-such
should retire, that old dinosaur."
Lemme tell you kids something.
I'm paraphrasing the late Stephen Jay Gould, a fella you could
always count on to defend dino rights. Stephen said it eloquently
(as you can tell from this column, Shakespeare I ain't), but
the gist of it was:
Dinosaurs ruled the earth
for more than 100 million years, and died off through no fault
of their own. Homo Sapiens haven't even been around for one
million years, and at the rate they're going...well, I don't
want to keep you awake nights, but you get my point.
I'm not tryin' ta give
you kids nightmares or anything. Just quit using the name
of my species as an insult or a synonym for stuff that's out-of-date.
I promise not to use the word human for noisy things that
kill plants and animals and pollute the environment, like
"wasn't that Exxon Valdez a human."
See you in the funny papers.
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March 2003: Dinosaurs and Cave People
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Millions of years ago, mighty dinosaurs ruled the unquiet
earth, battling for supremacy over unfamiliar land masses.
100,000 years ago, Homo Sapiens appeared--small creatures
without horns or claws or spiked tails, who used their brains
to subjugate all other species and conquer the planet.
This Game Night, step back into prehistory. Face your foes
with cunning and savagery. Win, and you may become the dominant
species. Lose, and face utter extinction. It's Game Night:
Dinosaurs and Cave People!
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Here's a sampling of what
we played:
(for more info on a game, click
on the picture)
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Save your dinosaurs! The climate is fluctuating: keep your
herd on the move so they don't freeze or fry. Defend yourself
from enemy herds trying to claim the best safe spots for themselves.
Better evolve! Should your dinosaurs grow fur to survive in
the cold, sprout horns to fight with, or develop faster egg-laying
to repopulate? Evo was chosen by Games Magazine as the Game
of the Year for 2002.
3-5 players.
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This new edition of the hit game Carcasonne (played at several
game nights) puts players in a territorial struggle over a
growing wilderness. Control the resources of the land to win:
build a hut along the river to secure fish, hunt game in the
fields, gather stones and shrubs from the woods. Just watch
out for that hungry sabretooth!
2-5 players.
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("The Human Adventure.") Homo Sapiens have arisen.
But before we can start building Starbucks, we've got to survive.
Beginning in Africa and spreading over the globe, gather and
trade meager resources, develop tools, and form settlements.
Travel the furthest, meet the most diverse peoples, and possess
the best technology to ensure the survival of humanity.
3-4 players.
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Sometimes being a dinosaur is just plain boring. To spice
things up, you and your saurian pals have decided to race
around your island. The first one to throw themselves into
the volcano (and a molten death) wins. Well, you do have a
brain the size of a walnut. Hey, is that stegosaurus about
to beat you tot the finish? Bite off its head!
2-8 players.
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The super-continent Pangaea is breaking apart. Protect your
dinosaurs from tectonic shift, and lead them to dominate these
strange new land masses. But don't put all your dinos on one
space, or your opponents might send them drifting off the
board--or worse yet, dump them all into the ocean!
2-5 players.
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Civilization dawns as scattered nomadic tribes unite to
form the first villages. Take turns joining tribes anywhere
on the board, but only you know which tribes you secretly
support. Completed villages score points--can you earn the
most without revealing your hidden goal? Scrutinize the
other players' moves to deduce where their allegiances lie.
This game shows that with the first settlements came the
first politics.
2-4 players.
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Back to other Game
Nights
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