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The Evolution of Volleyball,
according to the Oaqui*
by Bernie DeKoven
Like Livingston and Stanley, like Crosby and Hope, the Oaqui
has/ve wandered far and deep amongst the tributaries of forgotten
lore in vain search for the fabled headwaters that gave birth to
the game of Volleyball and all that is therein implied. The earliest
recorded trickle of conceptual truisms relating to the game of Volleyball
turns out to be a game distantly similar, yet clearly predecessing.
The game I/we today call “Jollyball.”
Jollyball, as sketchily depicted in the caverns of the collective
consciousness, was a game that apparently involved tossing hot things
back and forth across a flaming firepit. Everyone seemed to think
it was extremely jolly to watch their fur-clad fellows try to keep
from burning themselves. Hence the common name.
Amongst the players, however, the game commonly known as Jollyball
became known as Follyball. Apparently, after a few too many people
caught fire, the name Follyball was officially adopted, and the
game never played again.
This historical vacuum was soon filled by the appearance of Gollyball,
a game said to have originated in the fabled villages of the fortunate
and festive fisherfolk. Known as the perfect game, Gollyball was
instrumental in helping the fun-loving fisherfolk keep their fishingnets
dry while encouraging them to develoP Fexterity in the handling
of decorative glass ball floats.
Gollyball is to all appearances a predecessor of modern Volleyball,
involving both tossing a ball and a net over which to toss. Gollyball
is reputedly the first truly spectacular spectator sport. Everyone,
and especially the players so thoroughly enjoyed watching their
beautiful glass balls in flight that they frequently forgot that
the objective was to keep them from falling to the ground. More
of a performance than a game, there weren’t any teams, really,
and the only way players got points was by doing something that
made people say “golly.”
As Gollyball grew more entertaining and complex, so too grew the
Gollyball players. Decade by decade daring innovators introduced
more and more golly-producing feats of athletic prowess, increasing
the number of balls, and, in fact, the kinds of balls in play.
Eventually, it became so de riguer to play Gollyball with many balls
that one night the game became literally transformed overnight,
and became from that time to the next known as Polyball.
For a while, Polyball was just about the only game in town, especially
wherever they had towns. People loved playing Polyball so much that
they became jolly even thinking about playing it. And soon there
was so much jollyness – so much actual, head-to-toe, golly-worthy
jollyness, and vice versa . Jolly players. Jolly spectators. Jolly
things to throw in jolly places. Genuine, joysome jolliness, everywhere.
That it became called volleyball, and played in a completely different
way, with only one ball and a high, straight, tight net, where trained
athletes spend the whole game trying to make each other miss.
*Oaqui Linguistics,
a Primer
The Oaqui ("oa" is probably pronounced "wa",
"qui" is most likely pronounced "cky", as in
"wa cky") was
or were first introduced to the world through the virtual writings
of the person currently identified as
"Major Fun."
For all Major FUN actually claims to know about the actual identity
of the Oaqui, Oaqui could refer to a singular and/or plural, male
and/or female and/or cosmic being. This is because: 1. the Oaqui
communicate only by email, and 2. the Oaqui language make/s no distinction
between singular or plural, masculine or feminine, young or old.
It is the Oaqui apotheosis to be seen as not only one with the many,
but also many with the one. In this manner, the Oaqui is/are oft
considered the true manifestation of me\we-ness.
And for all we know, there might be no such person or group as the
Oaqui. Major FUN might have made the whole thing up, just for the
fun, and the depth of it.
Your friend and mine/ours
The Oaqui
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Major FUN
Major FUN, aka Bernie DeKoven, is the author of
the DeepFUN
Weblog and The Well-Played
Game. a book that helped to revolutionize physical
education worldwide.
He teaches his Lessons from The Well-Played Game to government
and charitable organizations, businesses and individuals in
recovery.
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