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Of Schmerltzes, Sockballs and
Pantyhose
by Bernie DeKoven
Thanks to then tireless efforts of the New Games Foundation, the
Schmerltz earned its deserved place in history. Which is why you've
probably never heard of it.
The Schmerltz (also spelled "Shmerlz" or "Schmerlz"
or even "Schmerlts") is, in essence, a sock with a tennis
ball inside. The ball is worked down to the general sock toe area
and a sock knot is made as close to the ball as possible. Following
the completion of Schmerltz-making, we enter into the next phase,
Schmerltz-tossing.
Traditionally, the Schmerltz-tosser holds the Schmerltz by the socktop,
whirling the Schmerltz overhead or underarmed, and then, when the
proper twirling speed is achieved, releases the Schmerltz, thus
flinging it into the proverbial air. The Schmerltz-catcher, who
may or may not be the same person as the Schmerltz-tosser, then
endeavors to 1) catch the Schmerltz by the tail, or 2) avoid getting
hit by it, to the genuine amusement of all those so engaged.
Clearly, the Schmerltz is a larger in its whole than in its mere
sock and tennis ball parts. A Schmerltz made out of pantyhose is
no more or less a Schmerltz than a Schmerltz made out of traditional
knee-length argyles. A pantyhose Schmerltz containing a soccer ball,
or even a tightly rolled and wadded ball made of actual socks, is
still a Schmerltz.
Two Schmerltzes (or, as some would have it, Schmerltzim) tied together,
on the other hand, produces a play object that goes beyond Schmerltz
into a vast arena of sportslike activities centered around Two-Balls-Tied-Together.
TBTT polo being one such, as would TBTT baseball.
Speaking of tightly wadded sock balls, here we have a plaything
of truly ecological and community-building import. I myself have
conducted vast efforts at adopting singleton and/or orphan socks
merely so that I could recycle them into a half-vast collection
of soft, tossable, kickable and catchable ball-like objects, suitable
for such spurious activities as Group Juggling and an apparently
exhaustible variety of Everybody-Has-the-Ball ballgames.
Clearly, the sock (and/or pantyhose) as plaything has ecological,
philosophical and socially physiological ramifications beyond the
scope of mere ramifying. I can only hope that you find the occasion
to explore each.
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Major FUN
Major FUN, aka Bernie DeKoven, is the author of
the DeepFUN
Weblog and The Well-Played
Game. a book that helped to revolutionize physical
education worldwide.
He teaches his Lessons from The Well-Played Game to government
and charitable organizations, businesses and individuals in
recovery.
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